CINDERELLA
Once upon a time, there lived a humble and
pretty girl.
Her name is Cinderella. People called
her Ella. She lived near the woods. She was an orphan. Her mother had died of
heart attack, and her Father died in the war.Ella lived with her stepmother
and two step sisters. Her stepmother and
stepsisters were very cruel. They treated Ella like a maid. “ Ella,washed my
clothes!Hurry!” said Ella’s stepmother. “ Ella, tidy up our room and cook some
food for us!Hurry!” said Ella’s stepsisters. At first, Ella was still patient.
But after a while, Ella felt upset and
sad. One day, a messenger arrived with a special invitation. There was going to
be a royal ball at the palace. The king wanted his son to find a bride.Every
young woman in the kingdom was invited including Cinderella! Ellal was very
excited about the ball . In the attic, she found a dress that had belonged to
her Mother.It was a bit old fashioned , but Ella could make it beautiful!
Ella’s stepmother didn’t want Cinderella to go to the ball. She wanted the
prince to meet Ella’s stepsisters. “Maybe he could marry one of you!” said
Ella’s stepmother to Ella’s stepsisters. Ella’s stepmother kept Cinderella with
chores that would take ella all night to finish. While Cinderella was working,
the mice and birds fixed Ella’s dress. They added ribbons and beads that the
two stepsisters had thrown away . Working together, the animals turned a simple
dress into a fabulous gown. “Wow!What a beautifull dress!” said Ella. Now, Ella
could go to the ball. When, the stepsisters and stepmother saw their old
ribbons and beads on Ella’s dress, they flew into a rage. Ella ran away to the
garden and cry. Suddenly, her fairy godmother appeared and turned Ella’s dress
into a wonderfull dress and she sended Ella into the ball to met the prince.
Ella and the prince began to dance and they were starting falling in love at
each other. Finally, the ptince took Ella to be his wife and they lived happily
ever after.
~THE END~
I think you did well in this post. There are little errors in the past tense you used. The events in the story are very interesting. I like the way that you put some dialogs for the characters in the story. The story could be understand well. I suggest that you can put some pictures to make it more and more interesting. Overall, you have improved and did a great job!
ReplyDeleteI think it is nice. The only things is there are some mispellings/typo, i think you better check again :)
ReplyDeleteThe story you had written was great! The flow of the events in the story was smooth. The speeches you included also prevents boredom to be felt by the readers. However, there are some grammatical and spelling errors. Including pictures related to cinderella will add an extra interesting touch on your story. Overall, good job!
ReplyDeleteI like how you arrange the events of the story and also the fact that you put some dialogs to make the story more lively. however, there are some misspellings and grammatical error. You did a great job though:)
ReplyDelete